The Death Warrant

From the leaves of my life…

The blurred, white human-form touched me and murmured something. And she slit open my skin to insert something. She has been doing it for past three days. It pained. But it was less than what I had been suffering. I was feeling uneasy. The vocal chords, which once produced fiery speeches, have stopped working in protest. I lay there helpless with choking lungs. I could see more blurred white human-forms joining the group around me. They were feeling my heart-beats that have increased its rhythmic gap.

Then, some magical touch, and the pain seemed to cease forever. It was dark, calm and warm. I was floating in air; I was weightless. I was free – free from the imprisonment in the immobile body. Now, I am free. I was happy and moving in great speed. Where? I don’t know. I was enjoying this ride.

But this pleasure ride didn’t last long. I felt some one was pulling me down. Down and down I was moving with great reluctance. I could not resist the pull either. I felt heat mixed with chaos. When I opened my eyes, the blurred human forms were still around me.

“You still have some time, buddy. We will have a chat till then.” A heavy voice came from my right side.

A black figure with pure white teeth was sitting beside me. I smiled back. Something pricked my hand again. Slowly, I was lost. This time when I opened my eyes, I found a large tube inserted inside my mouth.

“They inserted it after they gave you sedatives. They say, it will help you to breathe.”

“Yeah. Trying to save me from you.” I smiled. He laughed.

“Is it painful?” He asked.

“Nope, feeling great. With tubes inserted in your body to feed, to pee and to breathe, one ought to feel great.” I frowned.

“A middle-aged woman and a young man came to see you when you were asleep.”

“Ah! My mother.”

I remembered how she was hiding her choked voice. I could only hear her. The vision was slowly tiring off. She assured me that I would be fine in a few days. She was happy that I could say “Mama”. Yes, that is the only labial sound came out as it did not disturb the protesting vocal chords. Now, I can’t say any more… not even “Mama”.

“Who is that young man?”

“My fiancé”

“They were very upset. It would be tough for them to cope up your absence.” He said after a pause.

“Not exactly. I admit they will be very sad. But time is a great healer. Mama has other kids too. And he will find another woman; he has not lost his virginity.” I winked.

“So, you are prepared to come with me?”

I nodded affirmatively.

“Why? You are still young.” He asked.

“WHY??!! Why not? I don’t want to lie in this useless body. They say it has affected my nervous system. I don’t know I would ever be able to walk, to talk, to see, to eat. That I would ever be able to lead a normal life. Why should I be a burden to my loved ones?”

“An escapism. Uh?”

“NO.” I shouted back.

Our conversation was disrupted by chaos. There was a screeching sound of the stretcher wheels. Some one gave a muffled cry. The electronic gadget alarmed with panicking beeps. The white images moved towards them. He gave me a cold look.

“Sorry, buddy, I have to leave you now.” He said without looking at me.

“No. You promised to take me with you.”

“I never make any promises. You can’t escape from your troubles like that. You have to face it.”

He left my side. I could see him walking with other man.

I lied there with mixed thoughts. I had stopped thinking for some time. Now I am back. My soul is back in this immobile body. I am destined to live.

I lied there victorious and defeated.