The Death Warrant

From the leaves of my life…

The blurred, white human-form touched me and murmured something. And she slit open my skin to insert something. She has been doing it for past three days. It pained. But it was less than what I had been suffering. I was feeling uneasy. The vocal chords, which once produced fiery speeches, have stopped working in protest. I lay there helpless with choking lungs. I could see more blurred white human-forms joining the group around me. They were feeling my heart-beats that have increased its rhythmic gap.

Then, some magical touch, and the pain seemed to cease forever. It was dark, calm and warm. I was floating in air; I was weightless. I was free – free from the imprisonment in the immobile body. Now, I am free. I was happy and moving in great speed. Where? I don’t know. I was enjoying this ride.

But this pleasure ride didn’t last long. I felt some one was pulling me down. Down and down I was moving with great reluctance. I could not resist the pull either. I felt heat mixed with chaos. When I opened my eyes, the blurred human forms were still around me.

“You still have some time, buddy. We will have a chat till then.” A heavy voice came from my right side.

A black figure with pure white teeth was sitting beside me. I smiled back. Something pricked my hand again. Slowly, I was lost. This time when I opened my eyes, I found a large tube inserted inside my mouth.

“They inserted it after they gave you sedatives. They say, it will help you to breathe.”

“Yeah. Trying to save me from you.” I smiled. He laughed.

“Is it painful?” He asked.

“Nope, feeling great. With tubes inserted in your body to feed, to pee and to breathe, one ought to feel great.” I frowned.

“A middle-aged woman and a young man came to see you when you were asleep.”

“Ah! My mother.”

I remembered how she was hiding her choked voice. I could only hear her. The vision was slowly tiring off. She assured me that I would be fine in a few days. She was happy that I could say “Mama”. Yes, that is the only labial sound came out as it did not disturb the protesting vocal chords. Now, I can’t say any more… not even “Mama”.

“Who is that young man?”

“My fiancé”

“They were very upset. It would be tough for them to cope up your absence.” He said after a pause.

“Not exactly. I admit they will be very sad. But time is a great healer. Mama has other kids too. And he will find another woman; he has not lost his virginity.” I winked.

“So, you are prepared to come with me?”

I nodded affirmatively.

“Why? You are still young.” He asked.

“WHY??!! Why not? I don’t want to lie in this useless body. They say it has affected my nervous system. I don’t know I would ever be able to walk, to talk, to see, to eat. That I would ever be able to lead a normal life. Why should I be a burden to my loved ones?”

“An escapism. Uh?”

“NO.” I shouted back.

Our conversation was disrupted by chaos. There was a screeching sound of the stretcher wheels. Some one gave a muffled cry. The electronic gadget alarmed with panicking beeps. The white images moved towards them. He gave me a cold look.

“Sorry, buddy, I have to leave you now.” He said without looking at me.

“No. You promised to take me with you.”

“I never make any promises. You can’t escape from your troubles like that. You have to face it.”

He left my side. I could see him walking with other man.

I lied there with mixed thoughts. I had stopped thinking for some time. Now I am back. My soul is back in this immobile body. I am destined to live.

I lied there victorious and defeated.

My mysterious lady love!

The weather was pleasant. The birds chirped and coo-ed. Flowers bloomed bright. Everything calm and serene. A perfect scenario for a romantic scene in a movie.

They were seated on a bench discussing all topics under the sky. Today, he was not ready to pick a debate with her. He allowed her to win all the debates and admired her triumphant smile. She is an ordinary woman with blunt nose, chubby cheeks and broad forehead; her head covered with thin, shoulder-length hair. Then why did he fall in love with her? There is something in her eyes… a radiance that captivates you, he says.

He waits impatiently for a chance to propose her. They know each other for past four years. And for past two years they meet on every Sunday evening on this park bench. He does not like parks. But she likes. She says, “It will give you some positive energy or you die of boredom, depression, and stress in this city.” Those days, she was just a friend, so he did not complain. Now, he cannot complain as she rules his heart.

“The other day, you were talking about ex-girl-friends. Why did they leave? I am sure your Male chauvinistic approach ruined your love life”

“That was in college, four years ago. And most of the girls think college guys are immature. After that, I have stopped falling in love; I am scared of rejection.” He tried to hide his true intentions.

“You are handsome. You have a good salary package and a house in this city. And also....good at heart. Why should a girl reject you?”

“Then, I would like to propose you. What say?” he said with a victorious smile.

However, it did not amuse or surprise her. “Then, you are the most stupid man on this earth.” She said with same composure.

“Yes, I am. For, I am in love with you.”

“Do you think you know everything about me?”

“Yes, I think. We know each other for past four years.”

“For past four years, I was battling with a mysterious force in me. Did you know that? For past four years, I was battling my madness by breaking things, by injuring myself. Did you know that? Did you know that I am scared of myself?” Her words fell on him like thunder.

“What are you saying?” or something, he muttered in shock. She was sitting like a stone. He dared not to touch her.

“Do you believe in sixth sense? I am one of the few who is destined with that.” She said after ending the long silence.

He could not help laughing. “I am sorry. I saw some films and believe it’s a shit.”

“I know you would not believe me. My mom used to see her dead relatives. She used to be very scared. I didn't believe her. I asked her to visit a psychiatrist. Then, she began talking with them and she was happy. I feel I will become like her.”

“See, it’s not some sixth sense as you say. It’s the insecurity that you and your mom have gone through because of your drunkard father. You both are sick and need a psychiatric help.”

“Then why do I become uneasy and mad before a tragedy occurs to my dear or near ones? Why do I feel some one following me? Why do I talk to strangers and promise help to the distressed when I am a great introvert? At times, some strangers stop and give the answer to my problems that I have never disclosed. At times, some beggars pass me muttering the forecast. Why does it happen?”

“It’s mere coincidence….”

“Not always. It’s deliberate. I am sure I am guided by a mysterious force.” She cut short his speech.

“Leave all these nonsense. Tell me, do you accept my proposal?”

“NO!”

“Are you in love with someone else?”

“No.”

“Then, why did you come close to me?” He asked in desperation.

“Because you were a sort of escapism for me. Escapism from myself, my fears and the mysterious force. You made me forget ‘the self’ in me though the feeling was momentary.”

“What a bloody shit! So you believe that you have got sixth sense?” He laughed hysterically. “Then why didn’t you know that I was in love with you for past six months.”

“I don’t know. But I know I saved your life once. If I hadn’t fallen sick that day, you would have boarded that plane. And I deliberately did it. I didn’t want to scare you by this sixth sense stuff.” She pulled her bag to her shoulders and stood up to go.

“You would be okay. Just need some psychiatric treatment. You will be fine once I am there to protect you.”

“They are right.”

“WHAT?”

“That Love is blind.” And she left the park.

The weather was pleasant. The birds chirped and coo-ed. Flowers bloomed bright. Everything calm and serene. But he was like a tsunami- washed shore.